a moment of weakness

Many of you may know that I suffer from male pattern baldness.  Although I am not currently bald, I would say I'm thinning... But give it time.

Long before I started to experience this, I made the vow that if I were to ever go bald, that I would go bald gracefully.  I would not do a comb over, or a toupee, or anything like that.  I had witnessed some pretty horrendous comb overs in my time, and I do not want to subject my poor head to that fate.  I'd also seen some pretty awful toupees and wigs, and have no desire to appear like I have roadkill perched on my head.  I think that statement also meant that I would not purchase or subject my scalp to the various chemicals out there that promise to regrow hair.

And that plan has been going well.  I've embraced my ever more visible scalp.  However, the other day I was sitting at home watching television, flipping through the channels, when I came across an infomercial.  I was watching these people talk about this treatment that would instantly make your hair appear to be thicker and promised visible results in 3-6 weeks.

I have to admit I was a bit mesmerized by the commercial.  And I kept watching.  It told me that I could get a 60 day supply for a trial fee of 14.95 or something like that.  I thought that was amazing that I could have more hair for only 14.95.  And I'm not extremely bald.  Just thinning.  It wouldn't be that hard to get back to the hair of my youthful days when I took it all for granted.  So I grabbed my laptop and clicked over to the homepage for this miracle product.

And, friends, I ordered it.

Yeah.  I know...

So, then, flash forward a day or so and I was sitting at my friend Mr Awesome's new house and we were chatting about something.  He mentioned something about having to take a drug test.  I said that the only drug they'd find in my system is minoxidil.  Mr Awesome turned to me and said, "Minoxidil?  What the heck is that?"

"The stuff in Rogaine," I replied.

"What???  Are you serious?  Do you use that?  Just go bald!  You'd have a great bald head!"

I mentioned that, of course, I didn't use Rogaine (because the stuff I ordered ISN'T Rogaine... and the stuff hasn't arrived in the mail, yet).  And then the topic quickly shifted to something else.

But that got me thinking about my decision to order this product.  The 60 day trial offer is $14.95.  Should I decide to keep it, I'll be charged somewhere around $150.  They will then continue to send me the stuff every 60 days for $150 a piece.  It promises to prevent and reverse this pattern of baldness. 

But that would equal $900 a year.  That seems like a lot of money for the sake of vanity.  And there is no CURE for male pattern baldness, only treatment.  So I'd have to continue to use this product forever to maintain my hair.  Should I ever stop, my hair would continue to disappear. 

So, I've decided to stick with my vow.  I'm returning the product as soon as I get it.  I've decided to not even try it.  I'm going to go bald gracefully and keep comb overs and toupees where they belong - halloween costumes.

Comments

[ppb]

Have you ever heard Christine Lavin's song about bald-headed men?

[ppb]

Bald Headed Men--Christine Lavin

I don't like men who exaggerate
about the places they've been
about the money they make
I like a man who's honest and true
who can look you in the eye
when they talk to you
I like men who accept who they are
not everybody can look like a movie star
if you can follow this thought
to its logical end
you can see why I like bald headed men
(she said it before
she'll say it again)
I like bald headed men

Everybody knows it's testosterone
that turns a bushy haired man
into a chrome-dome
but testosterone
is what makes a man a man
the more that he's got
the more that he can
do the things that make the women go
OY!
I'll take a bald headed man
over a big-haired boy
big-haired boys make very good friends
but they cannot compare
to bald headed men
(she said it before
she'll say it again)
I like bald headed men

Why would you waste your money
joining that hair club for guys?
(tell me why
tell me why?)
why would you cover
your manly badge of honor
with such a bad disguise?
(guys, guys, guys)
why would you blow your money
on rogaine and minoxidil?
when all it can guarantee
is years and years of pharmacy bills
(please don't do it)
[Spoken:]
Yes, we believe the hair replacement industry
for men is like the cosmetic industry for women
a giant black hole that will suck your money away
for the rest of your lives
(please don't do it)

No matter how you fight it
time marches on
some new things appear
some old things are gone
let 'em go it's a natural thing
like a leaf off a tree
like a bird on a wing
try looking in your mirror
from a whole different place
you're not losing hair
you're gaining face
be confident be cool
it won't be long when
you find you are proud
to be one of the bald headed men
(she said it before
she'll say it again)
I love bald headed men

[Chanted:]

Johnny Yakovitch
love him
that guy on Star Trek: The Next Generation
love him
Michael Jordan
lover
Tom Paxton
love him
Alan Brady
love him
Burt Reynolds
love him
Yul Brynner
loved him
Telly Savalas
who loves ya, baby?

[Scott]

YES - stick with the promise! I've always thought wigs and such are just.plain.stupid. Now that I'm starting to go myself, the hair is short and gonna STAY short, if not non-existent.

[RuthRE]

:)