stumbling toward divinity

all the world's a stage. especially my car

Back in the day (read a couple of years ago) there was this show on VH1 called "Motormouth."  The premise was that people nominated their friends to be on this hidden camera reality show, where somehow they got the clueless person to drive a vehicle full of hidden cameras.  The first round was this person driving the vehicle all by themselves and singing along to the radio.  The second round was when the friend(s) who nominated them rode along with them and egged them on.  At the end, their vehicle was ambushed by the camera crew and it was revealed that they had been filmed during the entire car trip and that their friend(s) in the vehicle was/were the culprit(s) that nominated them.  At the very end of the show, the person who got into their singing/performing the most ended up as the winner.

Sadly, that show didn't last long.  But I loved every minute of it.  I think it's because I could see myself in the people that were singing along with the radio.  Because I like to rock it out in the car.  I also like to rock it out in the shower, but a reality show along those lines would cross a lot of boundaries and break some laws, I believe...

But, back to the topic on hand, I am a definite car singer.  I love singing in the car, especially songs that are just asking to be sung along to.  Like "You Raise Me Up," by Josh Groban (I have a rule that when that song comes on my iPod everyone in the car has to belt it out.  It's just not a song that can be listened to quietly), or "More Than Words" by Extreme, or even "I Swear" by All-4-One (I can admit it...).

If there were cameras in my car tonight, I totally would have won.  I had my iPod on shuffle on my way home from running errands.  And, wouldn't you know it, the song "La Vie Boheme" from the musical "Rent" came on.  Now, I've already mentioned how this song can get stuck in my head, even when I haven't heard it recently. 

But it came up on the iPod, and I totally rocked out.  Several times.  Yes, that means I hit the back button and sang the song like four times, often at the top of my lungs.  Arm motions, for emphasis, may have been involved.  I reigned myself in, though, as I was driving at the time.  But I put on the car singing performance of a lifetime. 

I was disappointed that there was no camera crew waiting to ambush me when I pulled into my driveway...

frustrated... grrr.

Okay, remember that whole dilemma that I shared with you all about trying to download that CD off of iTunes and how it wasn't letting me?  I'm a bit frustrated because the music I have heard by this artist is great, and I think he might be my new favorite.  When I listen to his music on Pandora, I really, really, really enjoy it.  He would be one of those that I could listen to on repeat and not get bored [on a side note, speaking of Pandora, they just played the song She Is by Sufjan Stevens, then a song by Denison Witmer (who would be the artist of which I am speaking), and then they played She Is by Sufjan Stevens...  I'm not complaining.  It's a good song, just kinda weird.]

So, it still won't let me download the album.  I find that frustrating.  I'm going to keep trying until it is done being modified or whatnot.  iTunes will not be victorious in this.  I will be persistent and through my persistence I will arise with the victory.  Just you wait and see.

the party at the end of the world

Ok... so perhaps my last e-mail was a bit of an understatement.

I didn't just go to a Jimmy Buffett concert.

I sat in the THIRD ROW at a Jimmy Buffett concert.  THE THIRD ROW!!!  I nearly wet myself I was so excited.

And I've decided that a Jimmy Buffett concert has to be one of the most interesting places I have ever been.  Let me explain:

We drove into the concert venue parking lot, but it wasn't a parking lot for long.  It very quickly turned into a tent city.  There were all sorts of those picnic tents put up, people were grilling and playing frisbee and tossing a football and lounging in circles in lawn chairs.  I thought, This is pretty cool.  Little did I know that it was just getting started!

There were cars that had things written on them, such as "Waitress, bring me two more BOAT DRINKS!" or "Headed to Margaritaville."  There was even a hearse that said, "Jimmy Buffett or death!"  There were cars that were decorated like pirate ships, with flags and masts and whatnot. 

And then, there were the people.  Women, and men, wearing only coconut bras and grass skirts.  People dressed up like pirates.  There was even a person wearing a parrot costume, and another wearing a shark costume.  I saw a lady dressed up like Chiquita Banana, and a guy dressed in a huge palm tree costume.  Then there were the prerequisite drunk, shirtless men and the drunk girls in bikini tops. 

The friends I went to the concert with are friends with Peter Mayer, the guitarist for Jimmy Buffett's Coral Reefer band, and they had managed to get backstage passes before they knew I would be coming along.  So, they went backstage and told me that they would see what they could do to get me back there.  While I waited for them, I sat on the edge of this little wooden deck and ate some pretzels.  It was a great opportunity to people watch.  My little sitting spot was behind one of the concessions stands (no where near a bathroom) but that didn't stop people from coming back and looking for one.  One poor drunk guy came like four times looking for the bathroom.  Each time someone directed him to where the porta-potties were, which if he had just turned around he would have been able to see them.  But when you're drunk you're not always operating with all of your faculties.  He was a case in point.

My friend called me from backstage and said that they were next in line to talk with Peter, and she would see what they could do.  I told her that since it was after 7, at that point, and the concert started at 8 that it wasn't that big of a deal.  I'd rather they get to chat then spend 15 minutes trying to get me back there so we could hang out for 15 minutes before the band needed to go get ready.  I was fine with my pretzels and people watching.

As I was sitting there, a young woman who had too much to drink walked up to me and held out her hand for a high five.  So I gave her one and she yelled (I think she thought she was talking, but as we've mentioned alcohol can inhibit your ability to operate with all of your faculties) "HOW'S IT GOING????" and I replied, "Pretty good, how are y-" and before I could finish my sentence, she yelled, "GOTTA LOVE JIMMY BUFFETT!!!!!!!"  And then she ran away.

Before I went in to sit in MY THIRD ROW SEAT, I thought I should go use the porta-potty because it looked like a pretty tough crowd to fight to get through.  So, once I was in my seat I wanted to stay in my seat.  So I was waiting in the lines, and one several people down from me opened and this guy staggered out and stumbled away.  A woman went to go inside, and the people around her yelled, "NOOO!!  Don't go in there!!  He puked!!!"  And then, as if on cue, the guy stumbled and fell down into the line of porta-potty waiters.  The crowd, in a very supportive way, started cheering for the drunk, falling man.  The woman walked up to the porta-potty and opened the door and peeked in, before slamming the door and proclaiming, "He totally puked!  EVERYWHERE!"  Then this young guy, who either wanted to get to the concert quickly or really had to pee, ran up looked around, opened the door of the porta-potty and peeked in and then hopped in.  By that time it was my turn for the porta-potty in front of me so I walked in, but before I did I saw the poor drunk guy sitting on the ground in a different spot, and people were still cheering for him.  I thought that it would be nice to have people cheering for me, but I think I would prefer different circumstances if they were cheering for me.

When we took our seats, well I guess we never took our seats because we stood the whole time, there was this small woman in front of me who was a lot of fun.  She was dancing the whole time, often times with the man in the row ahead of her, who I'm pretty confident was not her husband.  I think her husband was sitting next to her.  There were two women on the other side of my friends who didn't think we were decorated enough for a Jimmy Buffett concert, so they gave my one friend a necklace with a blinking light and I got a string of Mardi Gras palm tree beads.  At one point, this guy squeezed through the crowd in our row until he was right next to me, and then he stood there for a few seconds looking around.  Then he grabbed my arm and said, "Don't worry!  I'm just looking for someone!"  and then he squeezed his way through the crowd the rest of the way.

Oh, and the whole thing I said about taking pictures?  Get this.  I brought my digital camera, so that I could take pictures and share them with all of you, but they made this announcement before we were let in to our seats that cameras were not allowed, and that we would be wanded before we were allowed into the stadium and if they found anything we would be asked to return things to our cars before we were allowed in.  So, like a good boy, I reluctantly put my camera back in the van.  When we made it up to the entrance, I was not wanded at all.  In fact, the guy just patted my sides and then did what felt like a really awkward hug.  Then he let me in.  And let me tell you, there were so many people who had brought in cameras.  That's the last time I follow the rules.  Grrr....

And then there was the concert itself.  Jimmy Buffett is AMAZING!  He sang my favorite songs, and a few that I wasn't as familiar with, and the band was great and they had this little guy from Hawaii who played the ukulele, and that kid was awesome, too.  And there were bongos and steel drums, and a steel guitar and a lot of other guitars, and women singing and dancing and I just remember thinking, "Holy Cow.  This is freakin' awesome!  Not only am I at a Jimmy Buffett concert, but I'm close enough that I can see the expressions on Jimmy's face.  I mean, he could totally spit on me if he wanted to."  But he didn't, and I prefer it that way.  But if he wanted to, he probably could have.

So then the concert was over and we made our way, like cattle, to the front gate only stopping briefly so that I could spend too much money, that I don't have, on a t-shirt.  But it was calling to me.  I was doing pretty good just saying no when my friend stopped to get a t-shirt.  But as I was looking at the shirt that she wanted in the display, I saw the one right below it.  And I swear I heard it say to me, "Mark!  You need me!  I am cool and fun and vintage!  I have a white v-neck collar and fun white stripes on my shoulders!  BUY ME!"  I didn't want to let the shirt down, so I bought it.

Walking to the car is a great time to hear people make funny comments while under the influence.  One woman said, extremely loud, "IS ANYBODY GOING TO JANESVILLE?  AND SINGLE???"  Another woman was trying to get into her car, and turned to her friends and said, "Ithinkifyou... pushthebuttonone... moretimeit'llwork.... Ipromise."  Then, there was this group of people that were taking a group shot, and one of their friends was taking the picture so my friend offered to take the picture.  The woman said, "OH MY GOSH!  Thank you!!!!  I LOVE YOU!!!!"  Then, after my friend took the picture, this woman said, "HEY!  WE WANT TO TAKE YOUR PICTURE SO THAT WE CAN REMEMBER THAT YOU TOOK OUR PICTURE!!!"  My friend said, "You know what?  I've just sat through a concert, and my hair is messy, it's probably not the best time for me to get my picture taken, but thank you."  I think the people were disappointed for about 1.5 seconds, and then they forgot what happened anyway.

So there you have some of my experiences at the Jimmy Buffett concert.  It was a good time.  Now I can't wait to go to my NEXT Jimmy Buffett concert. 

guess what

Guess what I get to do tomorrow?

Well, besides drive someone to the airport at 5am.

Ok, I'll give you a hint:

THAT'S RIGHT!! 

I get to go to a Jimmy Buffett concert.

I'm too excited for words.

I'm taking my digital camera along.  Perhaps I will get some fun photos to share.
Talk to you all later!!!!!