stumbling toward divinity

it's all good

I wrote about some of my favorite friends from seminary here.  We got the opportunity to hang out last summer, when they were in the area, and we talked about being better at getting together.  Of course, life intervenes.  And we haven't actually gotten together.  But, my friends, plans are in the works to do just that.

However, the circumstances behind our getting together could have been better.  They were pregnant with their second child, and there was much excitement surrounding this upcoming new arrival.  However, there were some complications, which required an amniocentesis to check the baby's lungs and afterwards, the baby's heart rate dropped and so they had to do an emergency c-section.

Apparently, when the baby was born she wasn't breathing and so the anesthesiologist had to do CPR.  She was revived, but they were worried about the lack of oxygen to her brain.  So she stayed in the hospital for a while, but now she's home and she seems to be doing fine, although it'll have to wait for developmental milestones to see if the trauma surrounding her birth has any lasting effects.

So, my friend Nate-Dawg (who is the father and classmate from seminary) called me to give me an update on their new baby, and in the course of the conversation asked me to be the Godfather.  I, of course, jumped at the chance.  So I met with El Capitan and told him the whole story surrounding this lovely little baby's arrival, and how I had been asked to be her Godfather, and so I said that chances were good I'd be needing to miss an upcoming Sunday.  After much conversation, it was decided that the last weekend of this month would be the best weekend for me to miss, so I was encouraged to encourage my friends to choose this date for the baptism...

But, it will work.  That's the date they chose.  I've already secured the time off.  I'm going to go and see my friends and I'll get to see their cute as a button son and their amazing new daughter.  It will be a lot of fun, and I'll get to stay an extra day because it also happens to be a holiday weekend.

BUT, that is not ALL!  This amazing baptism celebration will be the weekend after the Festival of Homiletics, which I will also be attending.  AND there are quite a few of my friends and classmates from the Mothership who will be attending, three of whom I will be rooming with during the week o' fun and learning.  I am super-duper excited to see these great people.  Oh, and to learn about Homiletics, too.

And now, I have a couple feel good moments of the day to share with you:

In a conversation with a grandmotherly member of the congregation, she said to me, "I like El Capitan.  I know him and respect him.  But I feel like I've gotten to know you more.  We have a relationship and I love you." 

Then, sitting on a couch, next to a member of the congregation, he suddenly turned to me and said, "So how long are we going to get to have you?"  I looked and him and said, "Well, I guess I haven't really thought about it."  And he said, "Who decides that?  Do you decide that or does the church decide it or what?"  And I said, "It's my decision." To which he replied, "Oh.  That's good.  I hope we get to have you for a really long time."

And, also, my 7 year old best friend and his little sister who are ALWAYS excited to see me.  Little Sis gets so excited to see me that I feel as if I'm some sort of celebrity the ways she gets so excited and then latches on to my leg whenever we're in the same room.

a visit to another Home

As if this week's weirdness component wasn't already big enough, I decided to "turn it up a notch."

You see, my internship congregation - the place where I spent a year as an intern pastor, learning the ropes, navigating life in fulltime ministry, figuring out what this whole life of a pastor would be like - is just down the road a couple hours.  I figured since I was so close, and had nothing else going on today, that I would head down for the two Sunday morning services, to pop my head in and say hi, and just to see what life was like for the people there nowadays.

This would be another first for me.  Boundaries are a big issue surrounding internship.  It has a definite beginning and a definite end, which is emphasized if you have people follow you to that site.  They strongly encourage/recommend that you extremely limit, if not sever, the relationship that you had with this place if another person is coming in as the intern after you.  This prevents the members of the congregation from maintaining a pastoral relationship with you and allows and encourages the people of the congregation to form a new relationship with the incoming intern.

It has been a bit over two years since I was on my internship, and there have been two interns who have followed me to that place.  So, for their sake, I extremely limited my communication with the people there, and I have not (until today) been back to visit.  But, as I mentioned in a previous post, my supervisor retired and moved away and this means that there are no more interns there.  So, since I was so close and there were no interns on whose toes I would be stepping, I woke up in the wee hours of the morning to make it to church for the 8am service.

I was a couple minutes late, but I walked in and sat down in the back.  The interim pastor was out of town today, so a layperson and a guest speaker were leading the service.  The layperson was a surrogate mother during my time there, and as she was up front I noticed that she saw me (plus I had e-mailed her daughter who had been in the youth group when I was there, to let her know I was coming and to see how many of "my kids" would be back from college this weekend).  When it came time to pass the peace, my friend said, "And as you pass the peace, be sure to pass it with our very special guest who's sitting in the back there,"  Everyone's head turned and they saw me and then she said, "Hi Mark!"  I said "Hi!" and waved.  And then the peace passing began.  People from the front of the church came all the way back to shake my hand and hug me.  They were excited to see me.  One woman was even crying, but I'm not assuming that it was [just] because of my presence.  People were glad to see me and several looked down at my feet and said, "Where are your green shoes?" in reference to the collection of liturgically colored shoes I collected and wore during worship there.  (I have yet to wear them at my current congregation.  I'm not sure why...  perhaps the time just hasn't been right...)

After the service, though I was invited to their adult fellowship where the guest speaker would expand on his sermon, I hung around the lobby area and talked to the man who was church council president when I started my internship and his wife, as well as the woman who took the mantle after him.  A woman who was very involved in the youth program came in while I was standing there and I surprised her, which was fun.  Then the man who was the Internship Committee Chairperson for the intern before me and the two afterwards (he was deployed in Iraq during my time, left about a month before I got there and returned in time to attend my final service) came up and talked to me.  He said he was teaching the 7th and 8th grade Sunday School class that day and that they were talking about me and wanted to see me.  So I followed him up to my old Sunday School room, where I taught "Cheeseball Girl" and her minions (I really wish all of you had the privilege of reading my old blog where I chronicled my year on internship, but I think I copied the Cheeseball Girl story here...  Check back in the archives around last February... I think that's when it was...).  I walked in the room and a couple of the kids said, "I remember you!"  and then one looked at me quizzically and said, "Did you dress up as a clown one time?"  I had to say yes, that I had, for Vacation Bible School. 

After the Sunday School hour ended, I walked back to the sanctuary where I saw several more of my friends, and another one of my surrogate moms.  Hugs and greetings abounded.  Then, a couple of them said that I needed to stand up front and sing with them, just like the "good old days."  All of the songs were songs that I had sung with them before, so I got up there and sang with them again.  It was a lot of fun to be with that great group of people again.

Then, after that, my two surrogate moms and their husbands, and their kids and a couple extra kids, and I all went out to brunch.  We sat and talked and had a great time.  We reminisced and shared memories about my year there, as well as things that have happened since then.  I recalled the time I was watching a movie in the youth room with several of the young people there when a bat started flying back and forth through the room.  As you probably well know, that went over well.  We crouched on the floor and screamed until the bat disappeared and then decided we were done with the movie anyway, and so we all went home.  Then we drove to one of my surrogate moms' houses for some fun and games for a couple of hours.

It was then that I decided I should probably head back to the Mothership, so we exchanged hugs and said our good byes again.  But not after several of them said that they would come and visit me, especially since the extremely large shopping center is close by.

I almost didn't go on this trip.  I woke up late, as my alarm didn't go off (I set it, but forgot to turn it on), and I laid in bed thinking maybe that was a sign.  Maybe that meant I should just sleep in.  But then I wondered what else I had planned to do with my day, and I reminded myself that I had told someone I was coming and she had told a couple other people, so they were expecting me and if I didn't show up then they would be disappointed.  So I forced myself out of bed and got ready quickly and left.

And boy, am I so glad that I did. 

My internship had such a profound impact on my formation as a pastor.  It was there, in that place, where I was embraced and loved into the role of pastor, where I was shown that I might be goofy and awkward but I have definite gifts for ministry.  I entered my internship excited, but scared to death of what was to come.  I was unsure whether the congregation would like me, and I thought maybe it would prove to me what I had been afraid of all along - that I was faking it, I really didn't have a call to ministry, and that I was better off doing something else.  But just the opposite happened - I'm sure some of the people there weren't fond of me, but the majority wholeheartedly embraced me, they helped me see that I was on the right track that God has, indeed, placed this call in my life.  In fact, several of them asked if I was coming to be their pastor to replace Supervisor.

It brought up some sadness, too, though.  Because the congregation has dwindled a bit since I was there.  I'm not sure if there were issues surrounding my supervisor's departure, but it seems that this great and wonderful place has hit a rough patch.  The interim pastor is working hard to prepare them to love a new pastor, and I know that they have it in them to do it because they did it so amazingly for me, I just hope that they know that they have it in them to do so. 

It was also a bit weird to be back in that place in a new role.  I'm no longer their intern pastor, but now I am a "real" pastor in a different setting.  My relationship to the people is not the same as it was when I was there last.  Also, two years changes people (of course).  Babies I baptized (with special permission from the Bishop because supervisor was out of town for his father-in-law's funeral) are now able to walk into church, take off their coats and walk down to Sunday School by themselves; some people are a bit feebler than when I saw them last, and not as able to get around as well...  It was also a bit weird to be back in that place without Supervisor.  He was a great man whose easy going attitude and laidback approach was often the much needed response to my sometimes over-excitedness.  We also got along marvelously, could sit and chat about almost nothing for a long time, and enjoyed being in one another's presence.  It was pretty cool because, when I was there, he was just beginning to talk about and imagine his retirement and I was just beginning to talk about and imagine beginning a lifelong career in ministry - two opposite ends of the spectrum given the opportunity to work and grow together.  It was an experience that I would not trade for the world.  And so, to be in that place, without him there was a bit weird.

But I'm glad I went.  It was good for me, to be reminded of that place and those people, to remember the amazing growth that I experienced there and how it played a large role in shaping the pastor that I am today.  And, I think, it was good for them to be reminded of how they are capable of reaching beyond themselves, of the great ministry they took part in by helping in the formation of SEVEN intern pastors (five of whom are now ordained, one who is awaiting a call and the seventh is in his senior year of seminary), and the kind of impact they have had on the wider church because of that.  Plus, I hope it also reminded them of how they are capable of opening their arms and welcoming someone into their midst, of loving that person and helping them grow into the type of pastor/leader/person that they are capable of becomming.  And I think, during this time, that might be a good reminder for them.

ups and downs of the Mothership

These past couple days have been good.  I have enjoyed the theological conversations I have engaged in, the speakers at this conference have given me some meat to chew on, but also have affirmed some of the things I have been feeling concerning relational ministry.  It was worth my time and money, I believe, to come and experience this conference.

But what has really made these past couple of days to be as good as they are has been my chance to "come home."  The Mothership will always hold a special place in my heart because of the role that it, and the people here, played in my ministry formation, in my ability to claim my gifts and my calling as a pastor, and in the impact they had on my life in general.  It has been good for me to come back to this place and to get a refresher on all of that.  But I'd be lying if I said the experience has been completely wonderful.  There have been some things that were unexpected and caught me off-guard in not so positive ways.  I thought that I would share with you some of the high-points as well as some of the low-points of this experience, starting with the low.  I enjoy and appreciate ending on a high note.

One low experience was on the drive here.  I was in the middle of nowhere when I realized that it would probably be in my best interest to get some gas.  So I pulled off the highway at the next exit that advertised that they had a gas station, and had to drive 3 miles north of the highway on this county road.  I reached to gas station to see that it was a grain elevator with 24 hour gas pumps where you use a credit or debit card to get gas.  There was no attendant.  I pulled in, shut off my car and fueled it up.  When I hopped back into my car, I went to start it up and... nothing.  I tried again.  Still nothing.  The radio worked, the power windows still worked, but the car would not even turn over.  Now, I am not an expert on car maintenance by any stretch of the imagination, but I was pretty sure that my starter had just crapped out.  Luckily, I have AAA and I gave them a call.  The woman informed me that I was in the middle of nowhere (which I already knew) and the closest service station was 45 minutes back the exact way I had just come.  Realizing that, at this point, I had lost the ability to be picky I knew that I just had to suck it up and do the backtracking.  When the tow truck driver showed up he explained to me that he had no idea what this AAA woman was talking about, that there was a service station in the town just 10 miles back, and they would probably be able to get me in right away.  So he towed me to the station.  (This story will be continued, but the rest of it doesn't belong in the "low experience" section).

Another low experience was our chapel service on Friday morning with the Mothership community.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed worshipping in that place again, the worship leaders were great (and I'm a bit partial since one of the cantors was part of a group that sang wonderfully at my ordination) and the service was good, but it was difficult for me to look around and not see the familiar faces of my friends and loved ones.  I wanted to be able to look across the chapel and see Future Bishop, or to look to my left and see Nate Dawg standing beside me.  I even missed hearing the voices of a couple of women from my class who sang loud and strong (though not always the best), I would have loved to hear their voices rising above the rest.  These people, who were important parts of my seminary experience, were not there, no matter how much I wanted them to be there.

But, conversely, there were many high experiences.  One was the welcome I received by the people who are still part of this community.  To see the excitement on their faces, the smiles and handshakes and hugs, helped me feel welcome back at this place and reminded me that it is still a home for me.  One instance, in particular, was when I stopped into the office where I worked when I was a student, and as I was leaving to go to the next place, I heard one of the staff members say, "Wow... it's so great to see him again!"

Another high experience was to see so many familiar faces, especially those who had come back for this conference.  I was only expecting one of them, but there were two others from my graduating class and several from the class below me.  It was great to see and reconnect with some of these people, a few of whom read my blog (Hi!!!  It was good to see you!!!  We'll have to do it again!!!)

One of the best, though, was during the second half of our afternoon session on Friday.  The first half, our speaker talked about adapting new postures, or different ways to engage in our congregations.  One, in particular, was moving from a work to play, or adopting a posture of joy.  Now, you don't have to tell me twice to move from work to play, so when he let us out for a bathroom/refreshment break, I decided to skip the second half of the session and I high-tailed it down to the youth room (another place I used to work on campus) to see the kids, as well as the new student who works there.  As soon as I walked into the room, a couple of the kids who knew me shouted my name and came running over for hugs.  There were a large group of kids that were new and who I had not met before playing, and several of them gave me nervous glances as if to say, "Who is this big, strange guy coming into OUR youth room?"  But I started to goof around with one of the girls that I knew, running up and down the hallway, and it didn't take long before a couple of the other kids asked if they could join in, and pretty soon I had most of the kids there running up and down the hallways, screaming and laughing.  A couple people I knew saw me doing this and commented with, "Some things never change..."  It was so great to be back in one of my favorite places on campus and to have it be just as fun and tiring as I remembered it to be.

Overall, despite a few moments, this has been an amazing time away for me.  It has been so good to come back to the Mothership for some time to refuel and relax and recenter.  And, while being here has reminded me in so many ways of how much I loved it here and how much I miss it, there has been a constant feeling, or a voice, telling me that I am happy to be at the place where I have been called to be.  The Mothership was my home for quite some time, and it will continue to be a home and place of welcome for me, but I am called to be elsewhere now, and that is good.

the first return

In a little more than two days I will be headed back to the Mothership...  They are hosting a conference that I am participating in partially because it's in an area of ministry that I enjoy, feel called to, and am in charge of in my current setting.  The biggest reason is because it was a good excuse to go back to the Mothership and not have it count as vacation...  even though I'm taking some extra days of vacation after the conference to spend time with my friends, as well as potentially drive over to the internship congregation for Sunday worship. 

This will be my first time back at the Mothership since I've graduated.  I'm sure it will be the same in many ways:  faculty and staff will be the same, the building and grounds will look pretty much the same, there will even be many familiar faces among the students who are there.  But it will be very different, too.  Because it will be the first time I've been there, since I started seminary in 2001, where it won't be my home.  Even when I was on internship, and living off campus for a year, I still had a feeling that the Mothership was home, and that I was just living away from it for a short time.  But now I've been gone for 15 months.  I've set up a home somewhere else.  The dorm room at the end of the hallway on the first floor of the residence hall is no longer mine.  I'm no longer involved in student government or the youth ministry on campus.  These things have transitioned over to others.  There will be a large group of people who won't know who I am.  Even though I might belong, it won't be home.  And I'm sure that it will be weird.

But I'm still excited and anxious and counting down the days until I get to come back.  I will even get the opportunity to spend time with a friend/classmate/student government colleague while I am there.  Which will be fun.  I might force her to go down to the married student housing and set up shop on one of the yards with me, even though it won't belong to either of us.  But being at the Mothership with her will pretty much necessitate it.  It's a way we spent a large chunk of our time on campus together.

I'm also excited about the opportunity to visit my internship congregation.  It's been three years since I was there as their Pastor Intern.  Many things have changed.  Kids have moved away, they've hired a new youth coordinator, my supervisor retired and moved away and they're currently with an interim.  But it will be great to see familiar faces of people I grew to love during my time there.  It will be good to reconnect, exchange new information, and rekindle these relationships that I let drift apart because of all the boundary issues revolving around internship congregations and relationships with former parishioners, especially while another intern is currently there.  But it's been long enough.  And there's no current intern.  And I miss some of these people.  So it will be good.

But now I have  to run, I've volunteered to be involved in the local community theater production and we have practice tonight.  Gotta run!!

so many things

There are a lot of things racing through my head right now, and I'm not sure that any of them warrant a post of their own.  So what you're going to get is a mishmash of what is going through my head right now.

Fourth meal - This is the new, or not very old, campaign for Taco Bell.  They advertise that Taco Bell is the place to stop for your 'fourth meal,' which is the meal between dinner and breakfast.  At first, I thought it was kinda funny.  It reminded me of the Hobbits in the Lord of the Rings with all of their different meals, like second breakfast and 'elevensies.'  But then, it hit me.  Let's take a group of people (that would be U.S. Citizens) who already tip the scales as an overweight country, moving rapidly towards an obese country, and encourage them to eat fatty, unhealthy foods during the time of the night when their bodies are the least active and less likely to burn off the tons of calories and fats rolled up in crispy chalupa tortillas that they're cramming down their throats.  Yeah...  sounds like a great idea to me.

Seminary youth - I was walking across campus this evening to help a new student move in after she arrived at a not very convenient hour, as far as receiving maximum move assistance from the community.  I was stopped by a couple of the seminary kids, who love to give me a hard time, when out of the tree jumps one of the boys whose family has just returned from their year of internship.  Now, I know you aren't supposed to pick favorites... blah blah blah... but you have to admit there are always one or a few who stick out, who you really get a kick out of (yeah, I dangled that preposition... what of it?).  This just happened to be one of those kids for me.  It completely made my night to see him, and he was quick to offer a hug.  Just kind of made me realize how I'm going to really miss the youth of this community, and I'm going to miss being the advocate for them that I have been these past years. 

Reality TV - Why is it SO addictive?  (This wasn't really running through my head all day.  I just added it now, after watching an episode of Real World/Road Rules Challenge on MTV).

My brush with death - This might be an entry that warrants its own post, but it doesn't get it.  It will just have to cope.  So, I was sitting in my room, checking my e-mail, watching something on TV (probably reality television) and basically minding my own business.  Now, I have two dorm fridges in my room that are known for making weird noises.  Some of you may remember from my internship year, that I had a refrigerator that continually decided to malfunction and whizz on my kitchen floor several times.  This resulted in me having to walk down into the furnace room (remember?  the one that I thought had someone living in it, who would repeatedly hit and kick the furnace and water heater to make strange noises) and not only did I have to go into the furnace room, but I had to crawl into the CRAWL SPACE in this furnace room (remember? the crawl space that made me fear a facial attack by a raccoon as I climbed in to shut off the water).  So, anyway, these fridges and their noise-making always makes me think that they're malfunctioning.  Well, as I was sitting in my room, I hear this "tic, tic, tic" noise coming from my right.  I glance over, hear the fridge about three feet to my right humming, and figure that it is just one of the fridge's random noises.  No reason to be concerned.  I continue web-surfing when I hear it again.  "Tic, tic, tic."  Mainly as a reflex I turn to look at my fridge.  Only it wasn't my fridge.  It was the bat crawling across my a pile of papers.  Yeah, that's right, a bat.  As in the furry, winged kind.  Not the wooden, sports equipment kind.  So, basically I jumped out of my skin and let loose with this yell/shriek/whimper noise and freeze in place as this bat crawls to the top of the pile of papers and looks around.  I grabbed the closest thing I could find, which happened to be a sweatshirt, and tossed it on the bat.  It began chirping, as if to say, "What the heck is going on here?" and I jumped over the bat (it was blocking my only exit) and rushed out into the hallway.  Of course, the minute I made it out into the hall, I realized that was a dumb idea.  Because at least if I was in the room then I knew where the bat was.  Now that I was outside, the bat could decide to fly just about anywhere in my room.  So I warily walked back into the room, expecting to see the bat come rocketing at my face (do you see a theme hear, involving a fear of animals attacking my face?) and was just in time to see the bat crawl to the top of my sweatshirt and look around.  Grabbing another shirt, I threw it on top of the sweatshirt, stooped down, bunched the shirts up, picked them up and rushed outside.  I practically threw the shirts onto the ground outside, and the bat just kind of laid in the grass.  My neighbor happened to be outside, and not as freaked out by bats as I am, so she stooped down to check it out.  Come to find out it had an injured wing (which is probably why it wasn't flying around my room in the first place) and so it just laid there, in the bright sun, and curled into a mangled, little ball.  She scooped the poor thing up and went and deposited it into a shady spot under some trees.  Now, when I'm in my room, everytime I hear a noise I think it's a bat creeping out of some nook or cranny in my room.  So, at least I'm not freaking out about the fridges malfunctioning, right?

Saturday - I move on Saturday.  I'm starting to get a wee bit freaked out by the whole thing.

T minus 5 days

I move in 5 days.

As in, these are my last few days of life at the Mothership.

As in, HOLY COW!

My room is still a wreck.  I finally reserved/booked/I-don't-know-the-correct-term a moving truck, even though I'm pretty sure it will be overkill for the amount of stuff that I have.  I still need to rope a couple friends into heading up north with me, to drive my car [and keep me company].

Part of me cannot wait to get there.  I've chatted with my new Sr Pastor several times on the phone this week, I can't wait to get there and talk to him in person, and begin this new adventure.  It's the thing that I've spent these last five years of my life working towards.  I can't wait to move into my new house and to begin to get to know the People of God who have called me to be their pastor, and to hang out with the youth of the church and to be a caring presence in their lives.

Part of me is in complete denial that this time is actually here.  What?  Me leave the Mothership?  You can't be serious!!  That's part of the reason why I haven't started packing (you'll be glad to know that a good chunk of my possessions are already packed in the storage room downstairs and mainly all I have to pack up in my room are clothes and books and a few hi-tech things such as my computer and television).

The reason why I began calling the seminary the Mothership is because I felt like it was very similar to some of the science fiction stories I've read/heard/seen on TV.  The Mothership sends out the smaller ships, they fly to various planets and locations, they check stuff out and learn things, before coming back to the Mothership to share their new knowledge.

I can't believe that I'm headed off on my final mission for the Mothership.  This ship is ready to take off for previously unexplored planets, there to stay and set up a new space station.  Sure, I'll come back to the Mothership every once in a while for tune ups and pit stops, but it will never again be the command center for me which it has been these past five years.

I can think of no better way to end this post than by saying:

Nanu Nanu!

all signs point to: an eternity of fiery damnation

I just got back from a night out with fun seminary people.  We put the evil of the false fire alarm behind us and decided to go out for some $.30 (that's 30 cent) wings.  It was a fun night of joking around, having a good time, letting them decompress after a Greek test, and laughter.  Lots of laughter.

Oh yeah.  And beer.  We had some adult beverages.  And, apparently, that's immoral.  So, if you would, please refrain from typing lengthy blog posts about how I'm such a horrible person.  I'm already aware of it.

Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

one thing i won't miss about seminary

I was sitting in my room, minding my own business, checking my e-mail.

When suddenly, my peaceful undertaking was ripped asunder by the loudest, shrillest, shriekingest noise my ears have ever heard.

I leapt out of my seat, nearly wetting myself in fear, as my mind raced trying to figure out what, in heaven's name, that noise could be.  What seemed like an eternity later - a loud, shrill, shrieking eternity - (but was actually mere moments) I realized that it was the fire alarm.  So I stumbled to the door, slipped on my shoes, and made my way down the hall to the exit.

As I approached the door, a couple new students came down the stairs to the door.  "Is it real?" one young woman asked with concern.  "Because if it's real, I want to go grab my instruments."

"It's not real," I muttered.  "It never is.  Someone probably burnt something."

We marched out into the damp, rainy outdoors and milled about in a confused group.  There were a lot of "Mark!  What did you do?" and "Who did it?  MARK!!!!"  Although I have yet to set off a fire alarm in my years at seminary [knock on wood].  People tried to figure out who set it off.  Who burnt the popcorn?  Who burnt their toast?  Those are the two most common culprits.

Eventually, the fire department arrived.  Well, about two police cars, an ambulance and two or three fire trucks arrived.  They quickly threw on their gear and rushed into the building, only to determine that it was a faulty smoke detector.

Then we all trudged back inside, and I went back to my exciting evening of e-mail checking and television watching.

Yeah, not really gonna miss false fire alarms...

heeeeere's johnny!

Well, I'm back.  And what a trip it has been.

So, let me give you a synopsis of what I have been doing.  Some points will be brief, some will be expanded upon.  Hopefully, none of these stories will cause anyone to question my moral aptitude...

I set off with Skdo and her family for the Northlands for the ordination of one of our good friends.  Our plans were to drive up most of the way on Friday, crash overnight with The Awesomes, then on Saturday we were going to drive up the rest of the way for the ordination, stay over night way up there, then drive back to The Awesomes, spend the night, and drive back to the Mothership the next day.

When we arrived in the town where The Awesomes live, we realized that none of us knew for sure exactly where they lived.  Both Skdo and her family and I had been to visit The Awesomes, but they had moved to a new house since then.  I had, however, received an e-mail from Mr Awesome which contained the new address and phone number, but in perfect Mark fashion, forgot to print it off or write it down.  So, that wouldn't do us a lot of good.  We decided to call The Awesomes, but they changed their phone number.  Neither Skdo nor I knew their new phone number.  Skdo called Mr Awesome's cell phone, which went directly to his voice mail.  Either his phone was off, or he was in an area with no service.  Either one was a valid option.

Our saving grace was that Mr Awesome left his new home phone number on his voice mail.  Skdo called the new phone number, and we were sure that Mr Awesome would probably answer, we'd ask how to get to his house, he'd hand the phone to Mrs Awesome (she is far better at giving legible directions than he) and we'd drive right to his house.

No such luck.  No one was home.

So, with no one at their house and no way to get a hold of either Mr or Mrs Awesome, we were not sure what we were going to do.  As we were driving through the town, we drove by a coffee shop which Skdo noticed had free wireless internet access.  In a moment of pure genius, Skdo said we should pull over, use her laptop to check my e-mail, get The Awesome's new address and then use one of those internet mapping services to figure out how to get to where we needed to go.  So that is what we did, and it worked wonderfully.  We drove right to The Awesomes' house.  We were slightly hopeful because there was a light on inside, but it really seemed kind of dead.  But we stopped and all five of us (me, Skdo, her husband and two kids) piled out of the car and walked up to the front door.

We rang the door bell, and then knocked, just in case the door bell didn't work.  Because door bells sometimes don't work.  But no one responded to either the doorbell that may or may not have worked or the knock.  And I'm pretty sure the knock worked.  So there we stood on the porch, outside of this house, in the light that had turned on because it was motion sensitive.  We weren't really sure what to do.  We all remembered that the reason they moved was because Mr Awesome's mom, Gramma Awesome, had moved in because of some health concerns and so they needed to find a bigger place for them, their three kids, Gramma, two dogs, one cat and rotating list of friends and family that are constantly visiting them.  We thought that maybe she was in the house, or the boys were in the house, and just not answering the door because they didn't want to/were told not to.  Or something like that.  So Skdo thought she would try the door.  And it was unlocked.  Which really isn't a surprise.  They seldom lock their door.  When I lived with them for an entire summer, I was never given a key to their house because their side door was always unlocked.

We cautiously stepped into the house and yelled out things like "Hello?" and "Anybody here?" and "Yoo hooooo!?!"  There was no answer.  Of course.  Although their cat did come and greet us.  In our discussions during this process, we did remember that wehn Skdo and I had talked to Mr Awesome several days ago on the cell phone he did mention something about being out at a cabin with two other couples from the Mothership.  We thought that, perhaps, he remembered we were coming and was unable to be there to meet us, but left a note or something to tell us we were welcome and to make ourselves at home.  Yeah, that didn't happen either.  We looked around for this note, and there was none, but the dogs were shut in a downstairs room and were barking because they wanted to come out and play.  Well, one wanted to come out and play.  The other one was probably fine being shut in a room and was just barking because it was a manifestation of his anxiety disorder.

So we sat down, and talked about how awkward we felt, and tried to figure out what we were going to do.  Well, we did that and we also talked about how, maybe, Mr and Mrs Awesome were out at the cabin and that Gramma Awesome had taken the boys out somewhere and would be returning home later that evening.  Or, maybe, she'd be returning by herself.  Of course, we had all met Gramma and I had even spent some time with her, but would she remember us?  Would the shock of seeing us, after quite some time and out of context and unexpectedly in their house, cause her to panic or give her a heart attack?  What if all of The Awesomes were out of town and they had a dog-sitter and this person would walk into the house and freak out at these five strangers sitting in the house without The Awesomes, or they'd notice we were there before they walked in, and seeing the strange car out front, they'd call the police.  Or, worse yet, perhaps a neighbor ALREADY noticed the group of strangers and had called the police and they would be there at any second, and we'd explain that we were good friends of the people who actually lived there, but would have no way of proving it because we would have no way of getting a hold of them.

Anyway, as it got later, we decided that we would just crash on the floor and couches.  So Skdo put her two boys to bed, and then she and her husband crashed on the couch and I pulled out one of those big foam things that you can fold into a chair or unfold into a bed.  I laid awake a good portion of the night expecting, at any moment, someone to come home.  As we were laying in our respective sleeping areas, Skdo and I discussed what we would do if someone came home, which one of us would be the one to go upstairs to talk to Gramma or Mr and Mrs Awesome.  We didn't come to a consensus as each thought the other should do it.

Finally, I managed to drift off to sleep.  However, just then, I heard a car door slam.  Sitting up, I said "Skdo!  They're here!"  Hearing no answer, I jumped out of bed and ran over to the window.  However, I didn't see anything.  Just then the cat walked downstairs and meowed at me.  Turns out the "car door" noise was the cat jumping off of the kitchen counter.  It also turns out that Skdo was only pretending to be asleep, because she didn't want to have to deal with the people coming home.  Nice....

I laid back down, and did manage to drift off to sleep, however EVERY noise had me thinking someone was home or coming inside.  I did manage to rationalize it by saying that chances are, if someone was coming home, they would have been home already and that we wouldn't have to worry about people coming home until the next morning.

Cut to the next morning.  We are all awake and sitting on the downstairs couch, watching tv, when Skdo's cellphone rings.  Her husband answers it, and I hear him reply "In your basement!"  Mr Awesome had gotten our three or four voice mail messages, although he WAS indeed out at the cabin and, evidentally, in a dead zone and unable to get our phone calls.  He informed us that he would be back in an hour, and that Gramma Awesome was staying overnight at the hospital for a minor injury she incurred, at that C Awesome, the oldest boy was Down South visiting his birth mom and family, and that J and K (their other boys) were with them.  Oh... in case you were wondering, we had let the dogs out of the room the previous night.

So, The Awesomes arrived later, they were more than ok with us being in their house without them, and we spent some quality time with them.  However, we had to leave to get up Even Further North, for our friend's ordination.  So we left CH and TT (Skdo's boys) with The Awesomes and then drove the rest of the way to the ordination.  It was a great service, at which Skdo and I were the only representatives of our class (it WAS a long drive for most of our classmates, and the ones that I would have expected to make an effort to get there are already ordained and so Sunday mornings are a very busy time for them), and were asked to read the Scriptures and help distribute communion.  We were honored, and glad, to help in that way.  I also got to stay one night in a hotel, and sit in a Tepid Tub (NOT to be confused with a Hot Tub, which is what this one should have been, but it had needed more water because the water level was low, and the hotel staffer on charge had filled it up with icy cold water, so it was taking some time to get back to a temperature that could be considered hot).  Oh, I have to share a story here, and if I do not, Skdo will make some comment like "I keep getting excited when I hear you talk about the story, that you'll share the cool part, but you never do."  So here.  I'm gonna share the cool part.  I had my cell phone with me (on vibrate) during the ordination.  When it got to the Service of Ordination, the part in the worship service where the bishop lays on of hands and the ordinand makes the promises and whatnot, my cell phone began to vibrate.  I didn't recognize the number, but even if I did I wouldn't have answered it because it was during a worship service and I was way up towards the front and that would have been very noticeable.  But during the reception after the service, I listened to my voicemail and it was the Sr Pastor at Congregation C telling me that they had just had the congregational meeting where they voted "strongly and overwhelmingly" in favor of extending a call to me.  It was really kind of cool that I received the call at the beginning of the actual ordination.

After the ordination on Sunday, we had planned on going out to the lake to continue the festivities, but decided that, since Skdo was feeling under the weather, we'd head back to The Awesomes so that she could relax.  Our plans were to then spend the night at The Awesomes before heading back the next day.  However, Mr Awesome thought that I should stay, since I had nothing else going on, and that the old youth director of the church where he is the pastor was going to be in town helping with Vacation Bible School that week and would be heading back to the Mothership on Friday, because he lived there now as his wife is a new student this year.  It took very little convincing for me to agree, and so I decided to stick around.  Turns out that the youth director was NOT heading back right away, so I would be unable to ride back with him.  However, Skdo would be in a location halfway between the Mothership and The Awesomes on Sunday night/Monday, so if I could get there, I could ride the rest of the way home with her.  So we decided to do that.

Staying with The Awesomes was, as you would expect, awesome.  Several of the nights were spent in their sauna (which, if you want to use, you must pronounce in the appropriate Finnish fashion, sah-oo-na, or sow-na).  I also got to go to potentially one of my favorite areas of the country when we drove to finish moving Gramma Awesome out of her house in a small town on the Northshore.  One of my days was also spent driving to the Big City to pick up C from the airport when he returned from Down South.  J came with me, and spent much of the ride down reciting all of his lines form the play that he was in.  He was the Emperor in The Emperor's New Clothes.  After he finished reciting every single one of his lines, he announced he was going to do it again, only this time he was going to include every one elses' lines.  I also talked to Mr Awesome's sister, who told me that her dog is preggers and going to have puppies.  I commented how I was going to have a house soon, one which allows dogs, and she said that I would be able to have one of her new ones.  They will be ready in late September, which will be about the time that I am ready for one, I think.  I drank a lot of coffee and pop, moved a lot of stuff, played a lot of video games, shared a lot of memories, gave a lot of hugs, and had a lot of fun.  Oh yeah, and also had someone, who's never met me, question my moral character.  But you all know about that part, already.

That brings us to Sunday.  Mr Awesome's congregation was holding worship at the local church camp, so I rode with him down there.  As he led worship and preached, I hung out in the pew with J and K (his two youngest boys) and one of K's friends.  Then I attended the potluck before we took to boys home and then Mr Awesome and I set off for the location about halfway between The Awesomes and The Mothership.  We arrived in time to be about half an hour late for the installation of one of my good friends at her congregation which was very close to this aforementioned location.  Then, I went to the house of this good friend and hung out for a bit before going to the house of another good friend from the Mothership, where Skdo and her boys were staying, as well as another good friend from the Mothership.  (For those of you who are having a bit of trouble following along, let me try to make it a little clearer.  My friend and classmate L was getting installed.  After that service I went to her house for a bit, before riding with my friend M to the parsonage where he lives with his wife, three boys and three cats.  My friend A (you should remember her.  Her moral character has been questioned on my blog, as well....) was just finishing up her vacation and was staying with M and his family.  Skdo was there with her two boys, as well.  So that means that there were ten people and three cats in the house.  But it was big enough to fit us all).

The next morning, I got up, ate breakfast, took a shower and then M took me on the 5 cent tour of his churches.  He's in a three point parish, and in a very beautiful part of the country.  Then, we came back to the house and packed up for a picnic and then drove to the park.  I rationed my time between talking with the adults, playing on the play ground equipment with the kids, and throwing crab apples at people.  They had these two things, one was a little motorcycle and one was a little race car on springs, and you were supposed to sit on them and rock back and forth.  I sat on the motorcycle and the spring bent all the way back until my butt was touching the ground.  So I switched the race car and it bent all the way forward and sent me sprawling on the ground.  This provided much amusement for the kids.  I also tried to ride on this other little car, but that just ended up with the seat of my pants being soaked in rain water...

Sadly, shortly after the picnic I needed to say goodbye to A and then M and his wife and boys, and then Skdo and her boys and I drove home.

So there you have a brief synopsis of my week, with some points elaborated upon a bit more than others.  Now I have to figure out when I'm getting ordained and when I'm moving up to Congregation C.  I also have to clean and pack the room I am living in, now.  Just a few little things, I guess....

it was only a matter of time

For those of you who were concerned, I received word that Congregation C voted "strongly and overwhelmingly in favor" of calling me as their new associate pastor.  So, that is good news.

In other news, I suppose it was only a matter of time, but I have been publicly shamed.  Yes, my friends, someone has found MY blog worthy enough to dedicate nearly an entire blog post for talking about how immoral and reprehensible I am.  And also how unfortunate it is that some congregation has chosen to call someone as immoral as me to be their pastor.

I don't know...  I'd think about being angry, but I think that takes more effort than I feel like expending right now.  I do, however, think that it's great that my blog is finally receiving some of the negative attention that all of those other big time blogs out there seem to get.  Does this mean I've finally made it in the blogworld?

Anyway, I am going to head for bed.  You see, the stars aligned just right and the opportunity arose for me to be able to spend the week with my good friends The Awesomes, and so I jumped at the chance.  So I'm in the northlands for about a week.  I'm excited!