stumbling toward divinity

changing things up

So, it's obvious that this blog isn't getting used much.  I mean, October?  That's the last time I posted something?  Yeah, maybe it's time for something else...

So, I'm going to try something else.  Those of you who still find your way over here (for some reason) can now find me somewhere else.

I've started "A Day in the Life of Pastor Mark" over on blogger... so you can click here to go and check out my latest blog adventure. 

it's amazing how things change

I remember, for awhile there, I was pretty good at blogging.  Meaning that I found time to blog regularly, and I think that I wrote things well.  I mean, at one point, I was contacted by the web manager of our denominational publication's website because she liked my blog, had used it as an example to her staff members as a blog that was well done, and she asked if I'd be willing to write something for the website.  Of course, that also happened to be right about the time I was getting ready to transition from internship to my senior year back at seminary, and so I had other things on my mind and never got around to doing anything with that offer. 

I even was talking with a friend who said she used to read my blog all the time, and how I was a good writer and she loved to read my stuff.  But then she said she hasn't in a long time now.  I know that part of that is her and her life changes and whatnot... but I think a part of that is that I haven't written anything worth reading here in quite some time.  Now, don't feel the need to leave comments to bolster my self-esteem or encourage me.  I don't need that.  I'm not down on myself about it, or depressed that my blogging skill has deteriorated.  I'm just being realistic and honest.

I think part of that has to do with being unsure about what to blog about in my current situation.  I mean, at seminary and on internship, I would blog about things that happened, people I encountered, situations that were unfolding, parties I threw (of course, then I was publically reprimanded on another blog about my deviant and immoral behavior).  Being an associate pastor in a relatively small town, I have to watch what I say.  You never know what's going to get back to whoever, even if I attempt to be anonymous.  Which I don't think I do a very good job at, anyway.

But, yeah.  My blog hasn't been "must read" material, lately.  In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I lost most of my regular readers.  I know that there are a few of you who check in with some regularity.  Mainly because you leave comments wondering where I've been, or ask how you're supposed to be entertained when I don't write anything. 

But, if you think about it, I started this blog (in it's previous form) the spring before I went to internship, which would have been 2003.  It is now 2008.  This blog has been alive (if sometimes just barely) for FIVE years.  That is quite some time.  That is almost longer than I've EVER lived anywhere.  That's longer than I was in college, and the same amount of time that it took me to get through seminary. It's almost 1/6th of my life.  It's amazing that it has kept my attention that long.  I'm often prone to fits of enthusiasm about things, which last for a short time before I'm on to something else.  So that I've managed to maintain a blog for 5 years, in any shape or form or with any regularity, is pretty substantial for me.  I guess it shows that this blog has been important to me, and still continues to be.

So I just need to be better about upkeep, I guess.  I need to motivate myself to write more.  Maybe, in the act of writing, I'll be inspired to write more.  Who knows?!?

a few things

I just got back from almost a week with some of my family.  My parents and I met at my brother and sister-in-law's house, after spending a couple days at an indoor waterpark resort.  It was fun to spend time with family, and it was GREAT to get to hang out with my nieces who are almost 5 and 3 years old.  They are both amazingly cute and smart.  Of course, I might be a bit biased.

But now I'm home, getting ready to go back to work tomorrow and put my nose to the grindstone.  For who knows how long before I get another chance for a break.  But, thankfully, this time with my family has given me a chance to decompress a bit, relax, play with play-doh and read a lot of stories.

So, now, as to that previous post... Yeah.  There is something going on where a certain person who, when I first started the call, made a great effort to make me feel welcome and is now unhappy about some things.  And letting people know.  But I realize I cannot make everyone happy all of the time, and in a church there will always be someone who isn't pleased about something.  While it's unfortunate, it's just the way things go.  I just need to do what I can to deal with the situation.

Also, my house is cold.  When I left the homestead to drive to neighborhing state to play at aforementioned waterpark resort, it was cold outside.  So I packed only long pants, some t-shirts and a couple sweatshirts/sweaters.  When I was at my brother's house, I ended up having to borrow a pair of shorts so that I didn't roast when we went to the park to play.  The weather there was sunny and warm.  Now I'm back home and it's cold.  I should really move somewhere warmer...

learning through experience

There is some unwritten, shared wisdom that says something along the lines of how you should be wary of the first people that come into your office when you start a new call.

I always knew why they said that.  But, I think after two years I can say that I now know why they say that.

awesome commercial

I just saw this commercial on TV. I have to say, it's one of the better ones I have seen in some time. Probably because I can relate...

take this bread

  I ran across this book, and saw that Anne Lamott had written that she loved it.  I'm a fan of Anne Lamott, and the back of the book made it sound interesting, so I picked it up.  It's the story of a woman whose life is turned upside down when she experiences communion for the first time.

Raised by staunch atheist parents, Sara spends the first part of her life thinking that religion and Christianity have nothing to say that is of much worth.  She works a few years in restaurant kitchens, which sets the tone for the rest of the book and how her life revolves around food.  Then she spends some years in other countries, meeting all sorts of interesting characters and sharing food with them.

She ends up back in San Francisco and, for some reason, stumbles into the sanctuary of St Gregory's Episcopal Church during a service.  She goes through the line for communion, and in the act of eating and drinking the elements, her life is changed.  She ends coming back to the church over and over again, craving communion.

Her experiences there lead her to follow the words of Jesus when he says to the disciple Peter, "Do you love me?... Feed my sheep."  She starts a food pantry at St Gregory's, in the sanctuary, surrounding the altar, where they end up serving about 300 people a week.  She writes about the people, all sorts of people, who end up coming for food and end up sticking around as volunteers. 

It's a great story, though there was one thing in particular that rubbed me the wrong way.  Miles did not grow up in the church, and hasn't had much experience with the traditional church.  All of her references then, come from her time spent at St Gregory's.  She doesn't seem to have much use for other churches, often almost criticizing the way different churches do things, such as using wafers rather than bread for communion.

Overall, it was a good book.  I read it fairly quickly and enjoyed it.  Her vision of what the Church, the Kingdom of God, should be is radically inclusive and inspiring.  She is someone who is not afraid to allow her faith to move her into action and service for all people.  This is a good book, but don't take it from me!  Find out for yourself!!

guess she doesn't need our help

Every summer, we take our youth group on a mission trip.  Thus far, we've gone to a state out east, another one further north, and even to Canada.  But now I am attempting to find ways for the youth at church to become involved in service projects and helping others closer to home.  I want them to see that we don't have to drive for 11 hours to find people that could use our help.  There are plenty of people and ways to help right here where we live.

So, up in the city, there is this woman who does a lot of work with people who are poor and homeless.  She is pretty well known in the city, I guess, and there have actually been a couple books written about her.  I thought that might be fun for our youth to get involved with her program, so I sent an e-mail asking for ways that youth groups could volunteer, even as much as once a month. 

I got a response the very next day, which I thought was cool because I thought that it might take a couple days for them to respond.  However, when I read the e-mail I was a bit disgruntled because it said, "If you'd like to set something up for next spring, call us at [phone #]."  And that was it.  So I think I've decided to find another way for our youth to volunteer.

adventures with the wild

I was sitting in my house, with the windows open, enjoying the nice weather and a good book when I heard a squawk.  Well, it wasn't really a squawk.  But it was something.  And I thought, "That is a funny sounding bird."

Then, I heard it again. And again.  And again and again and again.  With only a couple seconds in between each squawk.

At this point, I was pretty sure it wasn't a bird. In fact, I thought it might be a cat.  I have seen a couple cats hanging around my house, or bolting from under my front steps when I'm walking up them and successfully scaring the pee out of me.  So I thought maybe the squawking was actually meowing.  As I stood up to go investigate, the thought of a sad and forlorn cat standing outside my house mewling made me think that I would soon have a new family member.

But as I stepped outside, I saw what the cause of the noise was.  A squirrel, in a branch about 25 feet up, sprawled out on its stomach.  And squawking.  I squinted up, trying to see what was going on, wondering if I'd have a dead squirrel in my lawn in a while.  But it was hard to see what was going on.  And since I don't have binoculars, I went in and grabbed my camera and used the zoom to try and see what was going on.  But that didn't reveal much either.

During this whole process, the squirrel stayed in the same spot, and kept squawking.  I thought maybe if I got closer, I could get a better look.  So I moved a few steps closer and the squirrel stopped squawking.  I moved a few steps closer and suddenly, the squirrel jumped to its feet and turned to face me.  I took a few steps back, and the squirrel scurried a foot or so down the branch, but then turned and looked at me again.

Now, at this point, I was having visions of the squirrel launching itself from the branch and attaching itself to my face, at which point I'd start screaming and writhing in pain something along these lines.

So I backed up a couple feet closer to the house as the squirrel scurried across the branch, over to another tree, down the trunk and across the yard.

I'm not really sure what was going on.  But the more I think about it, I'm wondering if it's a plot.  Maybe the squirrels have teamed up with raccoons and/or bats and they are out to get me.  I mean, the bats HAVE taken residence in the bell tower of church right across the street.

And here I always thought squirrels were my friends.

going for a threepeat

The beginning of this month was the two year mark of my time here at church.  It's weird to know that I've been at this place and in this job longer than any other place I've lived or job I have had.  The longest I have lived in one place since high school (up to this point) was my first two years of seminary... well, that was actually only around 21 months.  The longest I have worked at a job was the year and two weeks I spent as a youth director.  So, I guess you could say, in the last 12 years I have had a fairly transitory life.

So it's sometimes weird to still be in the same place.  I still occasionally get those feelings that it's time to pack up and head off somewhere new and different.  I've noticed several over the past couple months.  It's like my body has gotten into this rhythm of leaving and arriving, and so it just expects it to happen.

But, I have to say, I like where I am at.  I greatly enjoy the people and most of the work that I get to do.  I have been blessed with some great friendships, and a few great friends have moved relatively close to me.  I am finding ways to branch out and see new places, try new things and meet new people. I feel like I'm settling into some sort of rhythm with the work that I'm doing, as if I know what to do and when to do it (at least most of the time... sometimes my procrastination skills still catch up to me).

So, I know that down the road there will be more new and different places.  My journey still has som twists and turns and hills to go.  But, for now, I'm happy to be in the place where I am.  And that's a good feeling.

a study in contrasts

I know that not all of you might be the Lutheran church nerd that I am.  So, for the sake of this blog post, allow me to explain a little bit to you about Lutheranism.

Like most church denominations, when you say Lutheran, it's a pretty big umbrella and it covers a lot of people.  There are a lot of flavors and variations of Lutheranism out there.  When immigrants came over to the United States, they brought with them their own brand of Lutheran.  So there were German Lutherans and Norwegian Lutherans and Finnish Lutherans and more.  Over time, though, they have merged (and split.  Lather, rinse, repeat) and so today we have several different branches of Lutheranism with the largest (and, I'd say most well known) three being the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod, and the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod.  Don't be deceived.  The Missouri and Wisconsin Synod churches are just named after states in which the meetings about their formation have taken place (I think) but those particular Synods are not confined to those particular states.  They rest on a continuum, with the ELCA at the end with a more liberal view of Scripture and the WELS on the other end with a more literal view of Scripture.   LCMS is somewhere in the middle.

Anyway, we have two Lutheran churches here in town.  One is the one I serve at, which is ELCA, and the other is of the Northern State persuasion.  Both churches have two pastors and, coincidentally, the two pastors of this other church share a first name, much like El Capitan and I do.

So, after lunch I walked down to the local grocery store to grab a Mountain Dew, for an extra boost of energy in the afternoon, and as I was on my way out, my counterpart from the other Lutheran church came in.  And I found it kind of funny to compare the two of us.

He was wearing a navy blazer with a dress shirt and tie.  He had on khaki pants with brown leather shoes. 

I, on the other hand, was wearing a pair of khaki cargo pants and a polo shirt, with a blue zip up hoodie (it's a little cool outside) and a pair of blue low top Converse shoes.

I'm not saying one is better than the other.  I'm sure we have each dressed as the other one was.  At least I know that I (on a couple of occasions) have worn a coat and tie.  But I thought it was kind of fitting how, at that moment, our outfits may have compared to our theologies.